Mad World

I wrote this blog back in January of 2009 after attending a wedding.  I don't really know how else to elaborate.

For the past few days my mind has been spinning a mile a minute.  Last Friday I attended a wedding for one of my best friends brothers.  The occasion was breathtaking, beautiful, and full of joy.  I felt all of these things.  But at the same time I ran into a few people from what I call my "other life".  People who were friends with my father, and indivduals I had seen on a weekly basis during my teen years as a member of the LDS Church. Has it really almost been 14 years since my father left us?  Have I really moved on, or  am I just trying to exist like a malfunctioned airplane operating on one engine because a huge part of me died along with you?  I'm still trying to figure this out. 

On my lunch break today I heard this song while running my errands.  I can't think of a better way to put my current state of mind into better perspective.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Mad World.